Hi guys! I’m Katherine. I’m only 16 now, but I was forced to leave my parents’ house and move across the continent. I feel almost like an orphan, with my parents alive, and that’s pretty insulting.
Everything has happened because of love, or rather because of my romantic preferences. The thing is that I happen to be a lesbian. Actually, when I myself began suspecting that I was attracted to girls, it was quite unexpected and weird. It happened a few years ago when I was 12 or something.
I was at a sports camp with some girls from gymnastics class and one of them, who used to be my best friend, made it clear that she was in love with me. It was shocking and scary, but more because I suddenly understood that I felt pretty much the same toward her. I was never fond of gymnastics at all, especially the sporty kind, when girls look more like solid fireplugs, even though there are really flexible. Then why I would devote 8 years to it, you might ask, and my answer is that my dad insisted on me doing so. Dad was strict and totalitarian, I was too young to rebel against him, and mom was way too much in love with my dad to disagree with him. I definitely wasn’t a talented athlete. But dad kept saying that diligence is the mother of success and that he was sure that, eventually, I would get that gold medal. But I managed to gain only a few encouragement awards, a couple of bone and nose fractures
Regina was my age and she was really rocking, you know. She was a better athlete than I was and definitely the better lesbian. I mean, she was way more assured in her lifestyle and much more courageous than me. It was one of those nights at sports camp and we, as usual, had snuck out of our room to watch the shooting stars while sitting on top of the roof. Then she said that she loved me more than just a friend and that she really wanted to give me a kiss, if I didn’t mind. I’d gotten scared. I yelled at her that she could no longer be my friend and hastily got up to go back to my room. But I might have just been too shocked by what had happened, because suddenly my leg slipped and I fell off the roof. Everything happened really fast after that, I mean, the panic, the ambulance, and the terrible pain.
All that relates to this very story is that I’d damaged my spine – fortunately, not very seriously, but this turned out to be enough for the doctors’ to strongly advise me to leave gymnastics forever. Even my stubborn father had to admit that my poor achievements were not worth continuing it.
I couldn’t stand being my dad’s disappointment one more time, so I decided to join another favorite sport of his – curling. What can I say… it was fun with all those “biters” and “guards” and “draws.” I’d even promised dad that I’d win some medals in it because I was pretty sure that I could become a successful curler.
But I kept thinking about my sexuality over and over again. I would read a lot of stuff on the internet and decided to try to accept myself as a lesbian. I’d noticed that I felt an attraction to one of my team members – Josie. I don’t know how it happened, but once again at first we became really close friends and very soon both of us agreed that it was more than just friendship. This time I was 14 and I was already ready to try dating.
Josie was nice and we often got together at my place after our training. My parents knew her and seemed to even like her. But, of course, we were keeping our little secret from my folks, since they were way too conservative to understand, I thought. But once, as it usually happens, my mom appeared in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Josie and I thought that we were home alone and decided to have a romantic movie time, when suddenly my mom returned home from work a little bit early.
She opened the door and saw us sitting with our arms around each other. And she would probably have thought nothing of this if Josie and I hadn’t bounced off each other immediately. Of course, Josie got really embarrassed and bustled off as fast as she could. And I could barely stand mom’s raised eyebrows.
At first she said nothing and just left my room, but in a couple of minutes she came back and we had a talk.
I felt a huge relief when my mom said that she’d love me and support me no matter who I chose to fall in love with. I felt really uplifted, so much so that I’d decided to confess everything to my dad too. But he did not understand me at all. and now,
I was no longer allowed to see Josie. Dad had not only forbidden me to go to curling training, but also to socialize with anyone. He took my cell phone away and even put me in homeschool. I was allowed to leave the house only accompanied by my parents and only to some lame places like museums or theaters – no more fun.
One day my mom entered my room and said that we needed to talk. There were not many words in her speech. She said that she loved me so much and tried to assure me that my dad loved me too. And then she said that she had talked to her aunt on the telephone and she agreed to host me for the next couple of years until I graduate from school.
Here I am, at Aunty Jackie’s place, living across the country from my parents. It’s been 114 days since I talked to my dad for the last time. He has never called me here. Mom tries to be supportive every time she calls, and she promises to come and visit me, but I doubt she will ever do so without dad. I met a nice girl in my new school, by the way, and we have been dating for a while, but I still feel lonely, as if some part of me is missing. And this part is mom and dad, I guess.
What do you think?
Is Katherine wrong? Share your experiences with us!s
